Friday, January 27, 2006

Chapter 9 - So Much for France

Thanks to the new Dolittle XP1 Software, purchased from a Japanese vendor at today's flea market I can now translate our golden retrievers' voices and have done so for the beginning of this blog. I am still a little unused to this new program so I hope it does them justice.

Hank: Wow. I can't believe how much I like just licking my nuts. Part of it is out of gratefulness that I still have them. There are plenty of dudes out there who don't and a lot of them are jealous. They like to start fights with me but I usually end them quickly, unless J is around. Man she gets worked up. I want to show her a canine and say, "Look, what the hell do you think that's for, waxing cucumbers? Get real! That's all for today. Slurp slurp.

Lucky: Finally I have a forum to discuss this maddening situation I find myself in. These two people who this insane world regards as my masters are really out to lunch. Sometimes I think they are the dumbest dumbbells in the whole flea ridden flea market world. I get so depressed sometimes and there is no one to talk to. Sure there's Hank but all he wants to do is hump me. So it's me and myself. I can't wait until the next time they let me off the leash. I will find the stinkiest, nastiest, foulest rotten dead thing I can and roll in it until the smell will never wash off. Then they'll have to shave me and it is really what I want anyway since I'm protesting this insane lifestyle. I just want to live on the beach! It's easy, just catch fish, squirrels, bunny's then swim until you're tired and sleep. Dog! are they stupid!

So there you have it...

Today we crapped out at the Swap Shop and didn't make a dime. People kept coming up and looking at our tools and garbage and shit and one guy from France picked up a ripped up box of sandwich baggies and looked it over. When he left J said, "Well, there goes France as an option."

We paid for the 30 buck special that allows us to nickel and dime it for free until next Friday. Whee!


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